The help meet formula: 10 tips for wives

If you’re like me, you might have thought a formula exists. Man marries a woman, who is automatically designed to be that perfect little help meet. This concept is found in two verses in the Bible, Genesis 2:18 and 20b: And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.… but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

We all know what “help” means. The difficulty is with the word “meet.” It has been translated as “suitable” and “compatible.”

So, what was Eve, after all?

She was Adam’s suitable companion, “a helper like himself.”* They were commanded to do the same things together, like tending the garden and taking care of it. But, Adam was the one that God addressed with His rules. Adam was responsible for Eve and the head of the family. (Genesis 3:9 God calls Adam’s name and asks for his explanation of their sin, then He questions Eve, verse 13.) They were in it together. Adam and Eve walked in the Garden together and communed with God. Later, they sinned together, hid together, made excuses together, and were punished together. God made fur clothing for both of them.

What does this teach us today?

How is a wife a help meet?

I am not sure there is a formula at all except for the idea that, in marriage, we’re in it together—and wives are supposed to be helpful.

Isn’t that profound?

Well, maybe it’s not the earthshaking “how to be a great wife” you wanted, but it’s what God tells us we’re created to be: suitable helpers.

Let’s make it practical.

How can I help my husband? I can:

  1. Speak kind words. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness (Proverbs 31:26).
  2. Keep the home. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness (Proverbs 31:27).
  3. Be industrious. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates (Proverbs 31:31).
  4. Look nice. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple (Proverbs 31:22).
  5. Honor and respect my husband. The wife see that she reverence her husband (Ephesians 5:33b). She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:12).
  6. Recognize him as the head of our home. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body (Ephesians 5:23).
  7. Love him. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife (1 Corinthians 7:3-4).
  8. Understand my role in church services. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence (1 Timothy 2:12).
  9. Love  and respect God. A woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised (Proverbs 31:30b).
  10. Spread joy. And my soul shall be joyful in the LORD: it shall rejoice in his salvation (Psalm 35:9).

Let’s be suitable helpers for our husbands todayheirs together of the grace of life (from 1 Peter 3:7).


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