You are a single and would like to be married. What can a Christian girl do?
You’ve been told to wait. You’ve waited … and waited … and waited.
You’ve been told to use this time in service to the Lord. You’re doing that. You have a lovely relationship with God and are actively serving in your church. You are considering being a missionary abroad and putting out feelers.
Your Prince Charming hasn’t shown up—if he even exists. Is there anyone out there who might sweep you off your feet? You still feel you were meant to be married, but it hasn’t happened and doesn’t show any signs of happening. Are you wired wrong? Have you misunderstood God’s will?
Maybe you’re supposed to be single.
You begin to question.
Before I take on your predicament, I sincerely believe that God uses singles and that He has designed two equal in quality but different lifestyles for both men and women. For women, God, through his single servant Paul, says: There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband (1 Corinthians 7:34).
If you are single today, you should be caring for the things of the Lord and keeping yourself holy in body and spirit.
You’re doing that. You still would love to be married.
Let me give you some practical help.
Examine your life habits.
Here are four suggestions for forming friendships, the best basis for any marriage:
- Keep yourself smelling good and looking good. Some singles sadly forget that men have eyes and noses. Be clean, comb your hair, wear pretty clothes. And, don’t forget your best asset: a gorgeous smile. Whenever you are in public, look as good as you can.
- Be out in places where other people gather. By that, I mean guard yourself from being a hermit. Go out. Make friends. A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly (Proverbs 18:24a). Where do Christian people go? Of course, be active in your church. Also do things with groups of Christian friends. Go to special occasions meetings. Be where you meet others. Be friendly to all—girls and guys. Become known as a friendly person.
- Pray. Ask God to work. Ask Him to find your future husband. Seriously, many girls panic way too early. When I was 18, I despaired of ever finding the one for me. A wise young counselor told me, “But you only need one.” Hilarious as that sounds, it’s what I needed to hear. I decided to be single, if it was God’s will—and soon met the man I married three years later. As soon as I gave up, the Lord dropped him in my path. I knew my husband was special the day we met. I don’t guarantee your story will match mine, but I can guarantee that surrender to the Lord’s will is the beginning of His showing you the way. Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).
- Be joyful and sweet. Display the fruit of the Holy Spirit in your life. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-25).
I am an older woman with many younger, single friends. Some are genuinely happy and serving the Lord, though they would also be happy if Mr. Right showed up. They are not hiding away in their homes. They are attractive, glowing girls. I fully believe that God can bring the right person to them in His time—and that He will, if it’s according to His plan.
I also have many single friends who are older. Many of these women are beautiful, capable, fun women—some of them over forty. You know what? God is using them in unique ways all over the world.
What’s God’s will for you? I have no idea.
But, if you’re single, you can be sure God’s will is for you to be pure and serving Him.