Guest post: Plucker Behaviors 2

Not long ago, I published the first three “plucker” behaviors. (You may access that first installment, here.) I’m sure you enjoyed them. The word plucker was inspired by Proverbs 14:1: Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. Of course, no one wants to be a plucker.

Thank you, Charity Woon, for sharing these thoughtful ideas with my readers.

Plucker Behavior #4: Having a chihuahua attitude

When I was younger, we had two chihuahuas. One was black and one was white. The black one was grouchy and easily set off. Even the smallest things made her snarl and growl. The white one wasn’t quite as moody, but she was an ankle biter. When someone was walking, she would sneak up behind them and nip at their heels.

Proverbs 21:9 says, It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. A brawling woman is contentious, moody, angry, ankle-biting, nagging, and demanding.

Some people hated coming to our house because of our “brawling” dogs. They didn’t like our ankle-biter following them down the sidewalk.

Imagine being a husband who has to come home to a wife who is easily stirred up and set off. Imagine living with an ankle-biting nag. It’s enough to make a husband dread going home after work.

I must admit there have been times when my temper flared up. Sometimes, I am easily set off. Ugh.

Builder wives have gentle natures and aren’t easily stirred up. They handle frustration and disagreements in a more constructive manner. They have learned to communicate in a healthy way.

1 Peter 3:4, But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

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Plucker Behavior #5: Giving him a heart attack


Proverbs 31:11 says, The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

Our husbands should be able to trust us better than any other person. They should be able to come to us with their deepest secrets without fear of judgment, ridicule, or gossip. Those are plucker behaviors that attack his heart.

My husband sometimes comes to me expressing a weakness. He makes himself vulnerable. He feels free to do that because I’ve gained his trust and have his heart. The worst thing I could do is damage that trust by making myself his judge.

How do I build his trust? It’s little decisions every day. I keep our discussions private. I decide to encourage him and lift him up when he trips. I decide to forgive him. I focus and brag on his strengths instead of his weaknesses. I decide to make myself open and vulnerable to him, too.

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To be honest, I don’t struggle with some plucker behaviors. Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands (Proverbs 14:1). But, there are others I seem to master.

Plucker Behavior #6: Being in it to win it

A wise woman once told me, “If you fight to win, your husband will walk away injured and bruised. Is that really what you want?”

All marriages have their arguments, and if you are in it to win it in those arguments, both of you lose. If your goal is to understand each other, to listen to each other and come to a compromise, you both walk away blessed. You draw closer together even through disagreements. You try to see things from the other person’s perspective. You respect his thoughts and opinions. That will make you guard your tongue. That will keep you from attacking with name-calling, sarcasm, and hurtful words.

Proverbs 31:26 says, She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

The glory of gray hair

I love gray hair. It’s so pretty.

Now, it’s even in style for young people—which cracks me up. We were in a public place a couple of years ago. One of the workers, probably in his early twenties, was sporting the new silver gray color in kind of a spikey, streaky style, along with gauge earrings. He certainly caught my attention.

On an elderly person, silver hair makes him glow. In Spanish, we say an elderly man with gray or white hair looks “interesting.” In English, “distinguished.” Things are changing a little, but in Spain it used to be not at all acceptable for a woman to show any gray. Everyone colored their hair. I am glad attitudes are changing, because I enjoy seeing a beautiful white head of hair, male or female.

Plus, I don’t feel so bad sporting my own natural highlights.

Please understand, I am not against hair color. Especially when a woman has little kids and a lot of gray, I don’t blame her at all for not wanting to look like her children’s grandmother.

In my own family, there’s a tendency towards “skunk streaks”—white streaks front to back, somewhere on the top of the head and very dark or black hair on either side. Blame the genes. I always understood my relatives covering that up. Once the rest of the hair turned white, they have let it all go white—and the result is beautiful.

Did you know the Bible loves gray hair?

It is a sign of wisdom and honor. The hoary head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness (Proverbs 16:31). Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the LORD (Leviticus 19:32).

God promises to take care of us, even in our latter years. And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you (Isaiah 46.4).

Several prophets saw God in visions. The Daniel passage talks about God the Father, and the verse in Revelation refers to Jesus. I beheld till the thrones were cast down, and the Ancient of days did sit, whose garment was white as snow, and the hair of his head like the pure wool: his throne was like the fiery flame, and his wheels as burning fire (Daniel 7:9). His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire (Revelation 1:14).

I am not sure anyone can accurately describe God. The humans who actually saw Him describe Him with terms like: light, glory, rainbows, thrones, and pure, dazzling white.

Many gray-haired people have a lifetime of experiences collected under their silvery manes. Have you ever asked them to tell you about their lives? A few years ago, my mother mentioned, “You never really know a person’s life story until their funeral. I think that’s sad.” I do too.

There’s a lot to be learned from an older person. A godly elder has much wisdom to offer his younger friends.

The hoary head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness.

Women of the Bible 17: Who are we?

Our father reared our family in a heathen city. One day, a couple of visitors came to our door. Father graciously opened our home to the two men, giving them gracious hospitality and lodging.

In the evening, all the men of our city encircled our house, as if they were rioting against us. They knocked at the door, insisting that my father hand our visitors over to them—to do shameful acts with them. We were terrified.

What did Father do? He stepped outside and closed the door behind him. Then, he offered to give us to those nasty people—his own virgin daughters. Behind the door and behind the visitors, we listened. How horrible! He cared more about being a good host than loving and protecting his own flesh and blood.

That evening, we lost all respect for him.

Our guests opened the door and pulled my father back into the house.

All the men outside became blind. They kept feeling for the door, creeping us out.

The visitors told Father to run and save our family from destruction, but when our father urged them to flee, our brothers and brothers-in-law just laughed at him. They thought he must be kidding.

During the night, the two visitors took our hands: my mother, father, and us two sisters, and led us out of the city. One of them said, Escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed.

Would you believe my father argued with him? Father asked to go to another small city. The visitor agreed and waited for us to arrive at the little town. Again, he urged us to hurry.

We ran, and as we entered the town, judgment rained down on the cities behind us. Our mother looked back. Immediately, she was destroyed.

Mourning our mother and having no respect for our father, we lived with him in a cave. We left a beautiful house and ended up with our dad in a cave. He was rendered useless. Sadness overcame him, and he didn’t have work or flocks or riches.

Neither did we.

My elder sister came up with a plan, as it was obvious no one was going to want poor girls as brides. We would get Dad drunk and have children by him.

He was so drunk he never knew what happened. We got our wish, and both of us had sons fathered by their grandfather.

The children of our wombs and their progeny gave the nation of Israel grief from that time forward.

Who are we?

Who is our father?

For bragging rights, what are our sons’ names, and which nations came from them?

A question for consider: when in the Bible was incest forbidden? So … did we do wrong?

How many friends do you need?

At least one popular social medium limits friend numbers. I was shocked. I can only have 5,000 friends? Poor me. I can’t have 5,001? No I have to whittle my list.

This actually happened to a friend of mine, not to me. I only have 1,400+ friends on there at the moment—but I’ll be happy to add you.

What is a friend?

I fully realize that a social media friend is way different from a personal friend. It might be an introduction to real friendships. I have found that to be true when I actually get to meet someone I only knew online. Fun!

Friend, according to the dictionary, is “one attached to another by affection or esteem.” (Merriam Webster)

The Bible has a few things to say about friends and friendships. How are we attached to one another? What is real friendship?

God called several people “friends.”

  • MosesAnd the LORD spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend (Exodus 33:11a).
  • AbrahamAnd the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God (James 2:23; also Isaiah 41:8).
  • LazarusThese things said he: and after that he saith unto them, Our friend Lazarus sleepeth; but I go, that I may awake him out of sleep (John 11:11).

Some “friends” are harmful.

  • Job’s three non-helpful friendsMy friends scorn me: but mine eye poureth out tears unto God (Job 16:20).
  • Some friends only care about what they can gain from others. The poor is hated even of his own neighbour: but the rich hath many friends (Proverbs 14:20).
  • Those who spread confidences are poor friends. A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends. He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends (Proverbs 16:28; 17:9).
  • An angry personMake no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go (Proverbs 22:24).
  • Being a friend of the world makes a person God’s enemy. Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God (James 4:4).

On the positive side, it’s easy to make friends. Just be friendly. A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24).

Good friends are beneficial.

  • They’re loyal and helpful in hard times. A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity (Proverbs 17:17).
  • They challenge us to be better people. Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel. Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend (Proverbs 27:9, 17).
  • They influence. He that walketh with wise men shall be wise (Proverbs 13:20a).
  • They strengthen us in the Lord. And Jonathan Saul’s son arose, and went to David into the wood, and strengthened his hand in God (1 Samuel 23:16).

Husbands and wives can be best friends. His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem (Song of Solomon 5:16). In fact, the word for love in Titus 2:4 to love their husbands, is the Greek word for friendship love.

The best Friend, of course, is God Himself, specifically in the Person of Jesus, who said, Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you (John 15:13-15).

I hope you know Jesus. He is the best and most perfect Friend.

I hope you have good friends—the kinds of people who encourage and strengthen you.

I hope I can be a good and faithful friend to you, my readers. On my social media list, there’s plenty of room for you.

Fiction Review: The Edge of Mercy

The Edge of Mercy by Heidi Chiavaroli begins when Sarah is on a huge rock and accidentally drops and loses her wedding rings. Her husband has asked her for a summer separation, and worse, he’s invited their teenage son to spend it with him.

Sarah is mad, perplexed, and doesn’t understand at all. Why would Matt need a break from her? Sarah thought everything was going well. No way is she going to talk to Matt about it either. He needed to come to her.

They live in a very nice house with a beautifully manicured lawn. Their son, Kyle, is terrific, and Sarah had thought everything was fine.

Sarah’s neighbor lady dies, and in her will are several surprises. In order not to spoil, I don’t want to tell you more. You simply need to read this.

The parallel stories–one historical, the other Sarah’s–are incredible. The way Ms. Chiavaroli weaves the historical story with the present is masterful.

I loved the stories. The writing is superb, and there’s a wonderful, satisfying ending. I definitely look forward to reading more from this author.

Five stars.

Advisory: While this is a clean story with good moral tone, it is only for mature adults. There is some sensuality in both married and extra-marital contexts. Nothing is graphic, but I personally wouldn’t want a young teenager to read this one.