Not long ago, I published the first three “plucker” behaviors. (You may access that first installment, here.) I’m sure you enjoyed them. The word plucker was inspired by Proverbs 14:1: Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. Of course, no one wants to be a plucker.
Thank you, Charity Woon, for sharing these thoughtful ideas with my readers.
Plucker Behavior #4: Having a chihuahua attitude
When I was younger, we had two chihuahuas. One was black and one was white. The black one was grouchy and easily set off. Even the smallest things made her snarl and growl. The white one wasn’t quite as moody, but she was an ankle biter. When someone was walking, she would sneak up behind them and nip at their heels.
Proverbs 21:9 says, It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. A brawling woman is contentious, moody, angry, ankle-biting, nagging, and demanding.
Some people hated coming to our house because of our “brawling” dogs. They didn’t like our ankle-biter following them down the sidewalk.
Imagine being a husband who has to come home to a wife who is easily stirred up and set off. Imagine living with an ankle-biting nag. It’s enough to make a husband dread going home after work.
I must admit there have been times when my temper flared up. Sometimes, I am easily set off. Ugh.
Builder wives have gentle natures and aren’t easily stirred up. They handle frustration and disagreements in a more constructive manner. They have learned to communicate in a healthy way.
1 Peter 3:4, But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
Plucker Behavior #5: Giving him a heart attack
Proverbs 31:11 says, The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
Our husbands should be able to trust us better than any other person. They should be able to come to us with their deepest secrets without fear of judgment, ridicule, or gossip. Those are plucker behaviors that attack his heart.
My husband sometimes comes to me expressing a weakness. He makes himself vulnerable. He feels free to do that because I’ve gained his trust and have his heart. The worst thing I could do is damage that trust by making myself his judge.
How do I build his trust? It’s little decisions every day. I keep our discussions private. I decide to encourage him and lift him up when he trips. I decide to forgive him. I focus and brag on his strengths instead of his weaknesses. I decide to make myself open and vulnerable to him, too.
To be honest, I don’t struggle with some plucker behaviors. Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands (Proverbs 14:1). But, there are others I seem to master.
Plucker Behavior #6: Being in it to win it
A wise woman once told me, “If you fight to win, your husband will walk away injured and bruised. Is that really what you want?”
All marriages have their arguments, and if you are in it to win it in those arguments, both of you lose. If your goal is to understand each other, to listen to each other and come to a compromise, you both walk away blessed. You draw closer together even through disagreements. You try to see things from the other person’s perspective. You respect his thoughts and opinions. That will make you guard your tongue. That will keep you from attacking with name-calling, sarcasm, and hurtful words.
Proverbs 31:26 says, She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.