Ask your husband.

Even in Christian circles, women constantly ask other women what they think. While that’s not wrong, and it’s extremely helpful to brainstorm certain subjects with other women, we’ve lost an important custom that dates back to biblical times—and the wisdom behind it.

Ask your husband.

Let me explain. In Numbers 30, we read that a husband may nulify a vow made by his wife. This protected her. The Bible teaches that the husband is the head of his home, and in that position, he has God-given authority. This concept carries on throughout Scripture.

When a woman goes to church and she has a question about what she’s heard, the Bible says she should ask her husband at home instead of speaking out in the service (1 Corinthians 14:35). This also protects her, and if her husband doesn’t know the answer, he can find out for her.

When a lady asks her group of Christian friends what they think, some will reference Scripture, but most give off-the-cuff personal opinions. She probably should also ask her husband. He has a different perspective and will help guide her. An added benefit to asking her husband is that he’s encouraged because he sees that she values his views.

Respecting one’s husband basically means that a wife seeks and considers his opinions.

Many women forget to ask their husbands at all.

In my own marriage, it has been an eye-opener to ask my husband his thoughts on hundreds of topics. Many times, it’s a totally different perspective. When I ask him what his priorities are for the day, a lot of times I am surprised by his answers. This is freeing. I understand what’s important to him—and that’s important to me.

In 1 Corinthians 7:34, we read that there is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

How does she know how to please her husband?

She asks.

Try it today!

14 popular sayings, but…

You read them every day. They’re interesting phrases, but they don’t necessarily agree with the Bible. At best, they’re verses taken out of context. At worst, they’re just pithy phrases.

Let’s look at them:

  1. I can do all things. This partial verse comes from Philippians 4:13, I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. The context is about being content in extremely adverse circumstances. The Apostle Paul is in prison when he wrote these words. The verse just before this one says: I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. Jesus can strengthen a Christian to forebear in even the most difficult situations.
  2. You’re not supposed to judge. While it’s true that God is the ultimate Judge, the Bible tells us by their fruits ye shall know them (Matthew 7:20). This is speaking of Christians displaying the fruit of the Spirit—one evidence of a person who is truly born again. Jesus said, Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment (John 7:24). Also, the Bible gives the church mediation judgment in disputes and for cases that require church discipline.
  3. The devil made me do it. Ever since Eve, people have been blaming the devil for their own decisions. Each person has at least a split second to decide whether to do right or wrong. In the beginning of the book of Job, we see that the devil can certainly afflict and tempt, but he cannot make anyone do anything.
  4. Cleanliness is next to godliness. Cleanliness is certainly desirable, and the Bible often refers to washing (ceremonial, for hygiene, and customary kindness to guests). But, you won’t find this statement or anything close to it in the Bible.
  5. You certainly earned a place in heaven. No one can earn a place in heaven. It’s a gift. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast (Ephesians 2:8-9).
  6. We’ll wear crowns in heaven. We read about Paul getting a crown of righteousness from Jesus at judgment day—along with others who are true Christians. Those believers who endure temptation and persecution will get a crown of life. At the appearance of the Lord, believers will get a crown of glory. The purpose of these crowns? I don’t envision believers walking around like kings and queens with crowns on their heads. In Revelation 3:10, we read about the twenty-four elders casting their crowns in adoration at Jesus’ feet. I believe we receive crowns in order to offer them back to Jesus in appreciation for His salvation.
  7. God helps those who help themselves. Algernon Sidney was quoted saying this by Benjamin Franklin in Poor Richard’s Almanac. This isn’t Bible and never was.
  8. Money is the root of all evil. Money isn’t the root of all evil; it’s the love of money—the desire for it and not being content. For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows (1 Timothy 6:10).
  9. You got this. This is used to encourage people and we understand what it means, but the truth is that only God is in control of any situation. We are, at best, weak people completely dependent upon Him.
  10. God will never give you more than you can handle. Simply not true. I wrote a whole post about this recently. You can access it here.
  11. I put out a fleece, so I can find out what God’s will is. I know that Gideon put out a literal fleece because he genuinely needed confirmation of God’s will for him (Judges 6:37-40). God honored Gideon and performed the miracles for him. Nowhere in the Bible do we read that this is a normal or recommended way to find out God’s will. Now, we have the whole Bible, which tells us clearly what God wants for our lives. We don’t need to test God to find out.
  12. You need to love yourself, forgive yourself. I don’t think loving one’s self appears anywhere in the Bible except in Ephesians 5:28, which says: So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. The Bible consistently speaks of loving God first and loving others next. It never tells us to love ourselves. It takes that for granted—and warns many times against pride. Forgiving yourself is a little weird. Only God can forgive us of our sins and short-fallings. Forgiving one’s self might mean accepting that God has forgiven confessed sin—but it’s not the same thing. The truth is, we can’t forgive ourselves. Only Jesus can forgive.
  13. I’ve got a mansion waiting for me in heaven. A mansion? John 14:2 actually says, In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. The word mansion means a place to abide, an abode (Vine’s). God is preparing places in heaven. What will they be like? I have no idea. What does a changed body need in heaven? Though we probably won’t ramble around alone in huge houses, we’ll have some kind of place in heaven—and it will be amazing.
  14. God showed up. We know what people mean by this, but God is omnipresent—everywhere in the universe at once. He is not able to show up, since He’s already there. The psalmist asked, Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me (Psalm 139:7-10). Kin to this one is, “Let’s invite God into this space,” as if He weren’t already there and as if He needs an invitation to be anywhere.

Wasn’t this fun? We’ll explore some more of these sayings in the future. A shout-out to my girlfriends who contributed to my brainstorming session. Thank you so much!

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer (Psalm 19:14).

Bible women 7: Who am I?

The judge profesied to the captain of Israel: The journey that thou takest shall not be for thine honour; for the LORD shall deliver your enemy into the hand of a woman.

The enemy gathered his troops with nine hundred chariots of iron and readied them for battle.

Israel went to meet them, descending from Mount Tabor with ten thousand men.

The Lord confused the enemy with all their chariots and warriors, and their captain ran away on foot.

I was outside tending to our camels when I noticed him running towards our tent home. As soon as his face was recognizable, I knew who he was: our enemy, the captain of Jabin’s army, running away like the coward he was, wearing the cloak of a poor man. I circled to the front and called out to him, “Stranger, please come in and find shelter.” When he entered, I rolled out a cushioned mat on the floor.

“I’m thirsty. Bring me water,” he commanded. I knew by his tone I had guessed correctly. This was indeed the captain.

Instead of water, I opened a bottle and gave him milk, encouraging him to take a nap. I would stand watch at the door. He ordered me to lie and say no, should anyone ask if I had seen him.

Oh yes, I would stand watch. I would make sure no one came in, but I wouldn’t lie. I’d guarantee he wouldn’t be seen—and there would be no witness to what I was about to do.

Within minutes, he was asleep on the couch on the floor. Snoring. What a racket! My husband never snored so loud. I knew my chance had come. I tiptoed outside to the wooden chest where we kept tools, chose a sharp tent stake and hammer, and silently slinked back into my tent. It wouldn’t have mattered if I’d made a noise. That man wouldn’t even have heard a camel bawling. He was sound asleep and still making too much noise of his own.

I steadied myself, took a deep breath and held it. I would save many lives by killing him. Still, it wasn’t easy. I had to muster all my strength. I held the tent stake at his temple and hit it hard. With two terrible blows, it went all the way through, pinning him in place.

He would never snore again.

While I pounded and blood splattered all over my dress and the corner of our tent, Israel’s soldiers followed the confused enemy and defeated them. Many enemy troops fell on their swords rather than being killed or captured. They suffered utter defeat.

Soon, Israel’s captain and soldiers passed by my home. Still decorated with blood spray, I invited the captain to come inside to view his enemy. The tent peg pinned his head to our floor.

God had delivered the kingdom of Jabin into the hands of the Israelites. Our people were free.

Later, they would sing praises to God for the victory. Part of that song described my little part. Blessed above women shall (she) be, blessed shall she be above women in the tent. She put her hand to the nail, and her right hand to the workmen’s hammer; and with the hammer she smote (the captain), she smote off his head, when she had pierced and stricken through his temples. At her feet he bowed, he fell, he lay down: at her feet he bowed, he fell: where he bowed, there he fell down dead.

Who am I?

And, who was the enemy captain I killed?

What was the name of the captain of Israel’s army?

And, for extra credit, who was the judge?

And, if you enjoy deep topics, what is the difference between killing in war and murder? Is there a difference? Bible references?


I recently saw a cartoon. It’s a sign in the desert: “Warning. This is an inclusive society and if we think you are talking, thinking, or behaving in a non-inclusive way, you will be excluded.” Ha ha!

It’s not far from the truth. It seems that you have the right to agree with popular opinion, but can’t say anything against the accepted views of the moment. If you dare to express different views, you’ll be ridiculed, even vilified. “Think like we think, and you’ll be fine.” And, all the time, they use words like tolerance, diversity, and inclusivity.

In truth, tolerance and inclusivity are only for likeminded people, and diversity is code language for setting cuotas for including women and minorities. If you differ (in religion, politics, or persuasion), or if your skin isn’t the right shade, or if you’re a man … poor you. You’re not tolerated, included, and your diversity wasn’t the right kind. Basically, you allowed to blend in—unless you qualify to be diverse. Figure it.

Wise Solomon said, There is no new thing under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9). People have been excluding others who don’t see things the same way they do for centuries.

Jesus said:

  • Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake (Matthew 5:11).
  • Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also (John 15:20).
  • If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you (John 15:18).

When Christians have different views (biblical ones) from the mainstream thoughtstyle of the moment, they shouldn’t be surprised that they’re not popular. Jesus wasn’t either. The public even made up lies about Him.

It’s strange. While the world admires great individuals who overcome and set out and rise to the top, they frown on anyone with a different worldview. Why is it so bad to be maverick? Why can’t a person have biblical values? Why are born-again people reviled? What happened to tolerance and inclusion? Secular, anti-Christian rhetoric prevails.

Thankfully, Jesus didn’t only tell us to expect some bumps along the way, He told us how to handle people who become our enemies. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you (Matthew 5:44).

That’s different, for sure. Instead of being angry and seeking revenge, we realize that our enemies are actually sinners for whom Christ died. They would be different if they embraced Him as Savior and repented of their sins. They’d be Christians, too.

Now, that’s inclusive!

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)

Don’t even breathe!

The ecology people are getting stronger. Nowadays, you don’t only need to recycle. You have to avoid using single-use plastics all together. They outlawed plastic straws in some places, but that’s just the beginning. In Europe, plastic bags are almost as precious as silver. You have to take your own reusable bags to the supermarket, and if you forget, you must buy a bag—and reuse it. Less and less products are wrapped in plastic, and more supermarkets are using paper baskets and bags.

The other day I read, “They used to tell us to save the trees; use plastic instead. Today, they tell us not to use plastic; use paper instead.” It’s a crazy world.

“Recycle everything.”

“Don’t produce trash”—whatever that means.

I jokingly tell my husband he’s allowed to recycle everything but me.

The United Kingdom is promising to be completely carbon neutral by 2050. The morning news said England can’t put a proposed airport runway anywhere but beside existing runways and still meet that target—nor will they ever be able to build a new runway anywhere else in the country.

My husband guesses that in the future we’ll all ride bicycles—and they’ll fine us for exhaling.

You can ask anyone who knows me well: I love trees. I am totally for recycling, changing habits, and not being wasteful. I even compost my kitchen scraps.

But, I think we’re trying to save humanity backwards.

The real need isn’t carbon neutrality, non-plastic everything, sorting our trash, and nixing airplanes. It’s not going back to horses and buggies and subsistence farming.

We need another kind of salvation: for our souls.

You can save the planet, which will all be burnt up anyhow, and forget about the most important thing in the world, your own soul. Jesus asked, For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? (Mark 8:36)

God knows how long the earth needs to sustain human life. He already has a plan in place, and it includes taking care of humans. It also includes the complete destruction of this earth. But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up (2 Peter 3:10).

It doesn’t end there. There will be a new heaven and new earth. The Apostle John had a vision of what would happen. He wrote, And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea (Revelation 21:1).

God gave the responsibility for caring for the earth to the first people, and He gave us the same responsibility. We’re to be good stewards of everything God gives us. We should remember, though, that the earth was made for humans and not humans for the earth.

The fact remains: the most important thing in life is our heart.

Even if the green movement ends up making us ride bikes and fines us for breathing, we need to tend to our hearts first and foremost.

The Ten Commandments begin: Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

A lawyer asked Jesus, Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment (Matthew 22:36-38).

God first.

Is Jesus your Savior? Have you been born again? A man named Nicodemus went to Jesus at night to ask Him questions. Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. Then, He explained, as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up: That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved (John 3:3, 14-17).

We all have a way to go before we can honestly say we love Him with all our heart, soul, and mind. That’s a goal worth working toward.

You can breathe easy and not worry. I guarantee you the earth will be here until God’s done with it.

Your soul is much more important. Let’s love the Lord. He gets top priority.